


Invitations Accepted

by Kelly_the_Ferret



Series: Leviathan Depths [4]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Drama, Drama Llama, Fluff and Humor, Genderbending, Multi, Some Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 05:43:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21441166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelly_the_Ferret/pseuds/Kelly_the_Ferret
Summary: Our pair add gender bending to their daily lives when suddenly the plot becomes introduced. And then there's drama.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Series: Leviathan Depths [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538272
Kudos: 21





	Invitations Accepted

In the following weeks, the bookstore regulars curiously remarked to one another about the odd coincidence that both the bubbly blonde shopkeep and his gruff ginger both had their fraternal twins visiting. Even stranger, neither set of twins seemed to have both siblings present in the same place at the same time.

Neighbors became accustomed to seeing the blonde man take the fiery-haired woman out shopping, and then seeing the blonde woman reopen the bookstore with the red-haired man. Other days, the two women would stop by to mind the shop together while their brothers had stepped out for the afternoon.

Crowley received a pointed glare from the postman one afternoon when he met the gentleman at the door to collect the post. He arched an eyebrow, sneered, and shrugged his shoulders after the bloke, and began to thumb through the day's letters. 

Most of the items were, of course, addressed to Mr. A. Fell, and among these was a powder-blue envelope the size of a small birthday card. Crowley also discovered a black A4-sized envelope bound up between several pieces of junk mail with rubber bands. This item was addressed to A. Crowley in red lettering and it positively reeked of sulfur. He hissed and rolled his eyes.

The demon brought the entire bundle to the desk where Aziraphale sat with spectacles perched on her nose, blissfully devouring both a Lewis Carroll first edition and a small box of truffles. (The angel had previously argued that chocolate had a much more profound impact on her feminine palette.) Crowley held up his envelope while handing over the blue one.

"Together then?" The angel quipped, and the pair opened their respective envelopes. It took less than 30 seconds for them to read the contents, trade, and read each other's.

"Trap?" Crowley suggested with a lazy sigh.

"I doubt it," Aziraphale answered with a thoughtful expression. "Don't you think they would try to separate us if it were a trap? Besides, it's been more than six months since that day in the park; if they were just waiting for our guard to drop then they've been most patient." 

"I guess we're going to tea with Beelzebub and Gabriel then," Crowley grunted as he scratched his head and stretched. "We're due in an hour; are you sure you want to wear that?"

With a snap, Aziraphale shifted to his male countenance. "Quite right. Shall we?" he responded.

Crowley imagined that the Bentley enjoyed getting out of the city to stretch its legs. He imagined that his angel did not, particularly when travelling at 75 mph. Busy roadways gave way to country by-ways as the demon navigated to the address listed in both invitations.

The grey and black car rolled to a stop in front of a lovely cottage. Color started to return to Aziraphale's face as the car slowed, and he muttered "Thank Heavens."

"What? I drove much slower than usual!" Crowley could not help needling his angel at times, who rolled his eyes in response and tutted while climbing out of the car.

The cottage was set on a small parcel of land on a winding road. Its low stone wall and slate path showed signs of having lasted through a thousand years of rain, mud, and wind. The domicile's homey appeal spoke of generations of loving maintenance. Only, the spot had been a vacant corner of a disused field two weeks prior. Although now, of course, none of the locals could imagine the cottage not existing.

The front door swung open as soon as the angel and demon stood side by side in front of it, and a tall figure dressed in a comfortable looking lavender sweater invited the pair inside. 

The cottage's interior held just as much charm as its exterior, except for in one corner where Beelzebub radiated decay with an irritated expression. One might assume that the high demon was annoyed at having to exist on this plane, but one could never say for sure since Beelzebub's face never shifted. She glared from behind a quaint table which held tea, coffee, and biscuits.

Gabriel waited until his guests were seated before joining the group. Crowley selected a seat next to his superior, allowing his angel to sit as far from the Lord of Flies as possible. The archangel sat in the remaining chair to the Prince of Hell's left, although the two appeared repelled by one another. Crowley and Aziraphale sat angled toward one another at the opposite side of the table, each hoping to absorb some strength from the other.

"Letzzzz get thizz over with." Beelzebub directed. 

Gabriel nodded."Yep. Tea? Coffee? Biscuits?" he offered, looking to the recent arrivals.

The principality and demon spoke simultaneously. Aziraphale brightly responded, "Oh, yes please!" as he wiggled his fingers and loaded a plate with treats. Crowley simply growled a "No," as he slouched further into his chair.

While Aziraphale happily munched, the archangel produced a gold-trimmed binder which he placed on the table. "We were hoping you two could help us with something. We've been receiving reports upstairs of some kind of trouble. Normally, we would just set up a counter effort and thwart the other side but..."

"Itzzzz not uz." the Prince spat. "Zomething is overturning the natural order."

The lesser beings' faces froze and they leaned even closer together.

"No, no, not you two," the archangel said dismissively. He opened the binder and continued, "It started with some reports of strange animal behavior about five or six months ago. Creatures who were tamed started becoming...." He searched for a word.

"Viciouzzz" the rotting figure supplied. She closed her eyes and added "Deliciouzzz."

"We took more of an interest when smaller creatures joined in." The archangel flipped a page, showing the ineffable pair a video frame of three wild hares devouring a terror-stricken fox. 

The color drained from Aziraphale's face again as he shuddered and looked away. Crowley raised a serious eyebrow and nodded slowly at the image.

"That was three months ago," Gabriel said flatly. "Now, we have reason to believe that humans are being affected too."

Crowley poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip. "How would you even tell? Humans have a long track record of creatively destroying each other."

Beelzebub almost smiled as she said "Thiz izzzz different. Thezzze actz are heinouzz but zzudden. And zzzimple. Almozzzt like...." she trailed off, apparently savoring the images in her mind.

Gabriel cringed at his counterpart. "Savagery," he finished gravely.

Aziraphale nervously piped up with "Are you quite sure? I do recall something about bath salts a few years back; humans in America went wild taking them -"

"This isn't bath salts," Gabriel cut in firmly. "I established contact with Beelzebub to explore that angle, and this is... something else."

Crowley clucked his tongue and flippantly addressed his superior, "And you had such high hopes for the Department of Recreational Destruction! Turns out a room full of demons on every combination of drugs couldn't invent humanity's downfall fast enough."

Beelzebub shot back, "We profit from zlow, zuzzztainable deztruction. Thiz effect izzz zpreading too quickly. We cannot continue to reap zzzzouls if the humanz wipe themzelvez out."

The group fell silent for a moment. 

Aziraphale finally broke the silence, demanding "Well, what on Earth do you expect we could do to help? That is why you summoned us, isn't it?"

Crowley tossed his head and muttered, "Worst summoning ever," under his breath.

Gabriel glared at the lesser demon, shook his head, and calmly addressed the pair. "We really didn't want to do this. I mean, we really, really did not want to have anything to do with either of you after -"

"Get to the point!" Crowley demanded.

"No one haz zzzpent more time around humanz than you two. Our forzez have proven... ill-equipped to find out what izz cauzing thizzz," the Lord of Flies deadpanned.

Aziraphale rocked back a bit in his chair with wide eyes, and he snatched up another biscuit to nibble.

Crowley set down his coffee cup and addressed the greater entities, "Well it would zzzzzzzeem we really have no choice but to help. I like wine, and he likes chocolate, and we need humanity to keep making those things. Before we agree to anything, I need one question answered." Crowley slid his glasses down his nose and narrowed his eyes. "How long have you two been fucking?"

Gabriel's face turned purple as he snorted into his tea. Beelzebub's head snapped in her subordinate's direction, delivering a gaze that would have immolated anything not from Hell. A shocked chortle escaped Aziraphale, who looked to his demon questioningly.

Crowley grinned maliciously and pressed, "Oh, don't even try to deny it! There's so much tension between you two that a small black hole is starting to form under the table. Finishing each other's sentences, barely looking in one another's direction. And I've never seen the _dark Prince_ get hot and bothered about business before. If Beez owned a toothbrush it would be in Gabriel's shaving kit."

No one spoke.

Crowley shrugged and added "Fine. Prove me wrong. Look into each other's eyes and say you're _professional associates_," he finished, emphasizing the term in a mock-toff voice.

Gabriel and Beelzebub stared at the table, frowning and saying nothing.

Aziraphale broke into action and said, "I think we had best be going, dear; we wouldn't want the Bentley to collect any dust!" He stood and pushed in his chair, and turned to the other apparent couple, chattering "It was lovely of you to invite us! Thank you for the lovely tea and biscuits. We'll be in touch! Cheerio! Ta-ta!" He continued spouting niceties while hauling his wayward demon toward the door by the elbow.

Gabriel stood to show the pair out, his face having faded from purple to crimson. He lingered on the doorstep and sheepishly addressed Crowley, "You know she means nothing, right?"

The archangel observed the principality's eyes nearly pop out as he drilled a confused stare into the demon. Gabriel guffawed and walked back into the cottage, closing the door.


End file.
